With military precision (read: mild panic), we packed our cars to bursting and set off for the overnight ferry. You’d think a weekend trip wouldn’t require much. You’d be wrong. Nothing could prepare us for Jo 'Lite' and her suitcase the size of a family car. Seriously, we’re still not sure how it fit on the ferry let alone Haydn's car.

The journey there? Chaotic. Hunt decided that 20 chicken nuggets simply wouldn’t cut it and attempted to buy 22 off a stranger. He was, for reasons still unclear, denied.

The ferry journey brought more shenanigans, press ups and lively banter.

Friday – Breakfast, Tent Chaos & Tour Virgin Initiation

We kicked off the day like true athletes — with Sam being surprised to see sheep and a beachside breakfast that was far too classy for our crew. Bellies full, we migrated to the hockey club to put up tents, which immediately tested friendships and basic engineering skills.

Later, in the charming streets of Delft, we reunited with more of the T-Wrecks squad. It was time for the Tour Virgin initiations, and they did not disappoint. From accosting street dancers to spotting Paul Hollywood (or a Dutch man who looked suspiciously like him), they were put through their paces.

Then came the highlight: Tour Virgin Olympics. Our brave newbies challenged virgins from other teams to a race around the Delft church, and in true T-Wrecks fashion, we won. Did it count? Probably not. Did we cheer like we’d won the World Cup? Absolutely.

The evening brought our first Fines Court. Offences included:

Bringing a suitcase big enough to house a small pony.
Attempting to get into a car with two strangers and their child (…looking at you, Hunt!).
Some unnecessary Network Rail chat.
And general unmentionable hockey crimes.

Sandra and Yvette turned up late and had to sing to us as punishment.

Titters was even later and needed an entourage to escort her in.

Saturday – Some Actual Hockey & the Full Hollywood

Believe it or not, some hockey was actually played. Special mentions to Nigel, Cooper and newbie, Sam. And we smashed it — undefeated all day. Precision passing, tight defence, and hidden hangovers. We were almost unrecognisable.

Then it was time for Fines Court: Round Two — even more savage.

The real highlight? Fancy dress night. The tournament theme was anything Hollywood so we chose our baking lord and saviour…Paul Hollywood. We had it all — aprons, his actual face, soggy bottoms, and Gareth's Showstopper costume i.e. looking so like the real thing that the Dutchies thought we were pretending to be Gareth.

Sunday – Mayhem, Magnificence & a Final Fumble

Still riding high on last nights' Fines Court shots and beer, the T-Wrecks returned to the pitch. Once again, we won every game, including one that ended 100–0. We actually won that game 3-0 but we asked the oppo to declare a 100-0 win to us…and they obliged. We were top of the Mixed league with a 93 goal difference!

Then came the Final. We woz robbed!

Because let’s be honest — we danced harder, drank longer, dressed better, and laughed louder than any other team. That’s a win in our books. But we all took a fine for not retaining our title!

Sunday brought the Neverending Party which petered out at around 7am the next day. Magic Mike showed off his ping pong skills. Jo Lite tried an Avocaat conditioner on her hair, Jenny still couldn't pronounce 'Ashton Kutcher' and Rachel found her Joost!

Monday - home time. Angela was a bit unwell.

The ferry home was a particular highlight for many reasons…I don't have time to list them.

T-Wrecks Awards

Top Scorer: Angela – 5 goals, 1 assist, 0 memory of it.
Most goals missed: Magic Mike…ask him why.
Best Dressed Paul Hollywood: Sam as Prison Paul Hollywood
Most Fined: Haydn, Hunt, Jenny – mostly for being chaotically funny.
Fines Avoiders (The Teflon Award): Rob, Ellie, Nana Naps, OG Ginge, Ceci, Yvette, Nigel, Toner and Magic Mike.
Quote of the Weekend:** *“I’m not drunk, I’m just rehydrating… with Prosecco.”
Hero of the Virgin Olympics: Our Virgin MVPs, Sam, Jo Lite and Gareth?‍♀?

Final Thoughts

We may not have brought home the trophy, but we left with hoarse throats, full hearts, questionable selfies, and probably a few fines still outstanding. Huge thanks to everyone who played, partied, danced, drank, dressed up, and disgraced themselves in the name of T-Wrecks.

Until next time (22-25 May 2026) — Play hard, Wreck harder! ????