FADE IN:
EXT. ASHLYNS ROUNDABOUT - GREY SEPTEMBER MORNING
10:08 AM. DYLAN and KRAFTY are driving off to Reading for the 2s game. They spot the forlorn figure of GILES, wandering around the Ashlyns aroundabout.
DYLAN (looking at Giles) He’s playing for us today?
KRAFTY No, Hugo is.
They drive on (DYLAN and KRAFTY exit this part of the Berko Hockeymatic Universe).

CUT TO:
INT. HUETING BUS - SOMEWHERE IN AYLESBURY
10:10 AM. LARRY opens a WhatsApp message in the 4s group chat.
LARRY (reading message) Emergency. Is anyone coming through Berko? Nigel forgot to pick up Giles.
They sigh. The season has not started according to plan.

EXT. CARPARK - LATER
Five people of varying sizes stumble out of ROB’s Tesla. The unmistakable figure of KYLE looms out of the carpark. A cheery “hello” signifies CHRIS’s arrival.
JAMIE (looking at the group) Under league rules, we can start with 7.
They discuss a a 6-0-0 formation. Under the circumstances ROB takes his new duties of warm-up coordinator rather too seriously.

EXT. FIELD - MOMENTS LATER
Suddenly, the unmistakable figure of NIGEL, sporting a new ‘reverse mohawk’ hairdo, looms into view, followed by four other warriors in white.
RYAN (relieved) We’re up to 12. New formation, everyone!
New faces include KYLE, returning after a few years away, and a youngster named RAJ.
LARRY (aside) Heard he skippers the ‘threes’. We’ve heard of them, but they have been very much in absence in our quest to complete the matchday squad
RAJ taps the ball around in a way that suggests he may have played before.

EXT. FIELD - LATER
The opposing team lines up ahead of them. A mix of youth and experience, with a few familiar faces from seasons past. NIGEL relays the UMPIRES outline of the new rules around violence.
NIGEL Striking inanimate objects is now against the rules.
The team nods and the less mobile amongst them look relieved.
NIGEL And no, abusing ourselves is not prohibited.
The team chuckles. A whistle blows and BERKO pushes back.

EXT. FIELD - GAME IN PROGRESS
Bicester starts strong, pinning Berko back. The defensive shield - RAJ, GILES, TOM AYRES, and JAMIE - holds firm. CHRIS is quick off his line to stifle anything that gets through. MATT BRAY-EVANS is lively down the left; perhaps too lively as the UMPIRE calls him out for sticks.

EXT. FIELD - LATER
The father-and-son HUETING combo up front finds space behind the Bicester back line. The umpires blow for a foot in the D.
Rob, (injecting the ball) Kyle, go for it!
KYLE drag-flicks. The ball passes through the keeper and stops one inch from the line. ROB barrels in and belts it in.
ROB (excited) 1-0! Full family bragging rights!
RYAN looks pleased for the team and tries to look pleased for his dad.

EXT. FIELD - LATER
HIN is busy down the left. Balls flash across the D just out of reach. Bicester finds a way through and pounces on a loose ball. They score.
UMPIRE (whistle blows) Halftime. 1-1.

EXT. FIELD - SECOND HALF
With a stirring halftime talk, Berko retakes the pitch. LARRY finds joy on the right; he also finds a Bicester foot, but regardless Bicester streaks away, scoring again.

EXT. FIELD - LATER
Momentum shifts. Berko thunders down the middle. Indisputably a foot. It’s a super deceptive short and KYLE arrows the ball into the net.

EXT. FIELD - LATER
RYAN is a constant threat. NIGEL’s distribution is pin-point accurate. Another break from midfield, but a Bicester midfielder’s chatter gets him a green card. Berko dragged back to where the chatter started.

EXT. FIELD - FINAL MOMENTS
A Bicester short corner results in a goalmouth kerfuffle. The ball bobbles in at the near post. The whistle blows for full time.

INT. CLUBHOUSE - LATER
Debriefing over sandwiches, the team reflects on the 3-2 defeat.
GENERAL CHATTER It could have gone either way. Great start to the season, though; KYLE MoM for a goal and assist. Honourable mention for Tom Ayres, super solid at right back; And a no-vote DotD for Captain Forgetful. Roll on next week!

FADE OUT: CREDITS

POST CREDIT FADE IN
EXT. ASHLYNS ROUNDABOUT - GREY SEPTEMBER MORNING, 2034
10:08 AM. DYLAN and KRAFTY are driving through a post apocalyptic landscape to Reading for the 2s game. They spot the forlorn figure of the GHOST of GILES (a skeleton with a pony tail) is disconsolately wandering around the Ashlyns roundabout.
DYLAN (looking at the Ghost of Giles) Giles is looking good today

FADE OUT: END

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